We were in love
The butterflies gave me tummy cramps
I hated that I fell so hard in love
My failing instinct dealt a blow
I thought I was right, how wrong I was from the start
Bloodshot eyes of never-ending tears
I cursed the day I once revered
Bruises from my daily cross
Line my one-time graceful skin
Blinding, the thoughts have now become, that sprout a daily dose of fear
I wish again my soul to bloom
Like lilies by the seashore sand
A tall dream it seems to be
But once before I had it all
I live to fight another day, and heal the wounds and dry the tears.
We met on a rainy afternoon. I had been trapped in the rain for two hours or more and he was about to get into his car after making some purchases at the grocery shop.
I sought shelter under the branches of a nearby mango tree as the shop was already full of passersby also hindered by the thunderous rain. My thoughts bore all the possible ways I could get home. I was exhausted from the wedding shopping and was very hungry. It was my friend’s wedding that weekend and she had cajoled me into shopping with her since I was on leave. The day was great until her “beau” came to pick her up and I had to go home all by myself since they weren’t headed my way, not to mention this “badly timed rain”. I was so lost in thoughts and cursing so hard I didn’t realize someone had been standing by my side for close to 5 mins…I mean who cares… were we not all running from the rain?
As I turned to my side, I saw a complete set of 32 teeth smiling down at me. “Who is this one sef,” I thought to myself. I really wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries. To my utmost surprise, he didn’t say a word but handed me a huge shawl. As a proud lady that I am, I rejected the offer then the most surprising thing happened, he yanked me as he walked towards his car. I was too shocked to protest. How dare him!
I felt awkward sitting on the leather car seat all wet. I was angrier that this total stranger had the viewing pleasure. He turned to me and said “would you like a towel? I got a new one while at the shop” I sighed and focused on the splash of rain rolling down the window. “At least you can tell me where you are headed”, he said. I muttered the address and after driving for 30 mins in silence I reached my destination. Even though I was angry, I managed to thank him for the ride and show of concern.
Getting into my apartment, I heaved a sigh of relief, took a warm bath, had a rushed meal and jumped into bed. What jolted me from bed was the sound of a knock on my door. As I squinted through the bright room, I managed to catch a glimpse of my wall clock…7.00am? You mean I slept from 7 pm to 7 am?. I grabbed my @rukiscollection (https://www.instagram.com/rukiscollection/) sleep robe and went to get the door. Guess who?
I almost dropped my robe…what a fine piece of meat! Hmm, where did this come out from? Tall, dark, handsome, fresh, stylishly on point, and with a smell that could melt a heart of stone…pheww!
You didn’t look too good yesterday so I came to check up on you, he said. Hold on…what? Was this the guy from yesterday? How come I ignored him? How come I didn’t notice this handsome dude? Oh, I should actually give him that slap for yanking me off. Why is he so nice? Wait, why exactly is he here and what does he want? A thousand questions, right? But you are still in front of him and you need to say something.
Errmmm, thanks for yesterday, I kind of had a bad day but you really didn’t have to come. I had to, we didn’t meet on a good not and it ended so abruptly. Anyways, I am here for breakfast and you are not going to shut the door in my face. Like seriously, who was this guy that was so daring, I wondered as he made his way into my scattered apartment and began to pick up the pillows I had thrown on the floor when I was asleep.
I really hated that Demola infringed upon my privacy…I cherish my space… but I won’t deny that was what I loved the most about him. Well, after two weeks of him constituting a nuisance around my apartment we started dating. Everything happened so fast.
It was three months after I agreed to date him and here I was in that bridal shop I had eyed for the past 3 years on my way to work, trying out my dream dress… a sweetheart neckline, off-shoulder ball dress. I damned naysayers who were concerned that I had known Demola for just 3 months and went ahead with a lavished and colorful wedding.
My honeymoon was blissful. As we strolled by the Seychelles seashore, I thanked God for giving me the kind of life I had always dreamed of…he was so sweet.
Its just 6 months and I feel like hell has come to my doorsteps. Demola has become a beast overnight. I know most of you will ask that I check myself. For your information, I am still a fit size 8, hardworking, beautiful, neat, supportive, and respectful. So, what then is the problem? My husband is a sex freak… I am not talking of three times a week or once a day, I mean 4 times a day every day. One session as we wake up every morning, a session at lunchtime (he makes it compulsory for me to come home during my 1-hour lunch break), a session when he gets bad from work, and when we are in bed at about midnight.
Each time I protest I get beaten to a pulp. I tried talking to his family about the domestic violence but they said he has been that way and they felt I was okay with him for me to agree to marry him. Be one of those bad dreams! So, I was living with a monster and I never sensed it? How do I tell my family this? I was so sure he was God sent. The hardest pill to swallow in all of this is the fact that despite his cravings he still cheats.
Today like most other days I was terribly beaten. I think I have lost my baby. To be honest I am partly happy because I really wouldn’t want a baby with such animalistic traits but then again, I feel so empty.
I wish to fight and live, I also wish to die and ease my pains. Just a few drops will be okay…what do I stand to lose?